i am getting sick and i am not happy about it. stuffed up, runny nose, fever and migraine. same thing maybe. i dunno.
i feel hurt. i feel like i do do do for my family and friends but mostly family and no one really appreciates me. they need need need and i stop everything i am doing and do for them. but then i don't get a call or anything to check in to say thanks or this is how we are now. . .
does this make sense?
i need to learn how to say NO. N.O. NO. very hard word though. talked to my therapist today. i need to put myself and my needs first. family is great but i have my own family now. a husband. and we are trying to expand it, each and every day.
anyone ever feel like a doormat?
x
17 comments:
all.the.time. And then I feel guilty for feeling like people take advantage of me, because I think maybe I'm being selfish by even expecting recognition. . . it's a vicious cycle. :/
I've never quite figured out how to say "no" either; it's a lesson I'm still working on.
I hope you found some time today to take a moment for yourself and enjoy the sunshine.
Sending love from MI.
Yes! I've felt like a doormat a million times, and mostly with my family. It is so hard to say no, so hard to set boundaries (especially when they are completely ignored!). But Hon, you've been through a lot and putting yourself first for a while isn't selfish or rude, it is a matter of survival. Survival for yourself, your spouse, and your marriage. Thank heavens for therapists!! She's right, and though it's hard, that is exactly what you need to do! Even if it means not supporting people in the manner that you're used to, most will understand and those who don't, well, they're usually the ones that take take take and never give back, so no real loss there! I feel the same way you do physically, stuffed up, etc, and I took the day to lay in the bed with all of my pooches and watch some tv on the laptop and read blogs! You do what you need to do for you and hubby! Sending lots of love!!
OMG I feel like this all the time. I went to a therapist a few years ago and she taught me to set boundaries. Its really hard to do because you want to please everyone. But it does help. Much love to ya. I get it!
I agree darling. your a giver and it hurts when no one is there... I feel this way too and its hard to say no to family.
Oh my gosh, I totally could have written this post! I have been feeling very much the same way lately. I feel like I am the "go-to" girl when people need help or a favor. And then when I need something? Nothing. I was so frustrated the other day, and my hubby said, "Your heart is just too big. It's not a bad thing".
And girl, we all know you have a big heart, too:)
Saying no is ALWAYS harder than saying yes. Honestly, I can't relate all that much but knowing you... I can see how this would happen. You need to take care of YOU before you can take care of anyone else. xoxo
Sometimes I do. It's hard being the one who jumps for others and feeling stepped on other times. No is a very important word to learn. Hugs, buddy.
I am the friend who plans surprise parties, but spends my birthday with just my husband. I know exactly what you mean. *sigh*
ugh, being supportive of people when they do NOT return the feeling is the worst. it's so annoying to do what comes naturally to you and realize that other people aren't like that, so they might not be the same way.
hang in there lady, and take care of yourself!!
more times then i care to admit. it happens at work to me. i work with a very close friend and she is my "superior" so at times I feel like she thinks because we are friends she can ask me to do stupid things. that is a fine line too for me to cross... Sadly I don't think some people realize they are taking advantage until you bring it to their attention. I have had to have that convo with my guy a few times. Hope things get better for you!!!
every day. its not easy to feel like the ones you love are stepping all over you. it sucks.
I talk to my therapist about this same thing everytime I go in.
She says the same thing yours does. Your first priority should be you and your husband.
Got it!
Oh i get it! Ive been feeling like my family only cares about my sisters. BUT Im the one that helps in anyway possible and doesnt expect anything from them...BLAH!
Im sorry youre feeling this way! I hope that things start looking up for you!
I am the WORST for saying yes yes yes. And it is bad bad bad. You need to take care of you my friend...
It's hard to do it, and you will feel terrible doing it (which you shouldn't) but for once... it should be all about you! *Hugs*
I have been feeling like a doormat almost everyday :(
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