i am back.
i've been told this blog is dark and dreary. i don't mean it to be but i do have more sides to me than just the happy, go lucky one.
i feel sadness a lot. i miss my dad every minute of every day. i want a baby. announcements are happening left and right and i feel so left behind.
what about adoption? what about it? we just spent 2K to advertise in a few newspapers this month. which means we wait. it's what we do these days.
i try hard to move forward each day and i believe i am but there are times that i feel paralyzed with sadness. i have my schooling to look forward to and a visit out West soon. i live for things to look forward to.
another thing is i have not been the best friend as of late. i have bailed on things and it may be excuses but it has to do with my mood that day but mostly money. all we do is save to pay off this IVF or that adoption fee or my daddy's bills and have nothing to show for it. no baby from my belly. no baby from our heart. no daddy.
do you see how one could be down a little bit from all of this?
but at the end of the day, i care so much for my friends. i love them and want the best for them. i hurt when they hurt. i smile when they do.
thank you for being here, gang. it really means the world to me.
x
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... being real is who i am.
About Me
- whisper loudly, shout quietly
- "Antoinette" here, but you can call me Annie (for short) -- Anthony was Pop's middle name. If you wondering why I chose this unique handle, that's why and it's the feminine version. Anyway, being real is what I do best, so I decided to open the book back up bc we want to adopt and our dirty laundry cannot be all over the internet. So, this anonymous place is where the airing will begin. All of it -- the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
Friends
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10 comments:
I dont think its dark and dreary. ANd, who cares if it is- Its YOUR BLOG!!
I'm glad you're back. :) I don't think it's dark & dreary either. My heart aches for you but I can't wait until the day I read your blog and it's all about your sweet baby. I'm positve that day will come and I will be so, so happy for you & the Mister. Keep on truckin' & good luck at school. You're going to be a fabulous pastry chef.
I'm with Ashley. This is from the heart and I think it's good you have somewhere to go. Thanks for all your support :)
I don't think it's dark and dreary either. It's real and pain is real and you have to have an outlet, I'm glad you can come here and get support! You've been through an awful lot without any light at the end of the tunnel for now, and that is overwhelming, so don't think you have to have a shiny happy face 24/7! Sending you love and praying for that "call"!!! I told someone else recently, the ups and downs and twists and turns with adoption are so much like the hormones with pregnancy, be easy on yourself and don't expect more than you can do. I've had to bow out of quite a few things with friends that I "just couldn't do". Sometimes that is better than pushing so hard to 'make yourself enjoy it'. Your true friends will understand and cut you a break and be ready to rejoice when you are ready to rejoice! Promise!!! Lots of love and hugs! (p.s. made my night last night to find New Orleans ice cream in our freezer here, little chocolate city will perk you right up!).
Not dark and dreary. Real and a place for you to be YOU and say what YOU want and what YOU need. THAT is a happy good place.
Love you.
Its not dark and dreary, but even if it was, its YOUR place. So who cares what others think?
I wish I could give you a great big hug. It's funny how when we're kids we look forward to being an adult because it seems so cool and like we'll be able to do anything. In reality life can be so hard when you're an adult and all you want is to be a carefree kid again.
Say whatever you want, it's your blog and your life! I'd rather you be real and let us know what's up and that's exactly what you're doing =-)
Dark & Dreary ~ NO.
Real ~ YES!!!
No one can be rainbows & butterflies all the time, and if they are, they're LYING! You've been going through major shit, you're allowed to be real. Heck, you're not even allowed to be 100% real other places, since you were forced into hiding!
xoxo
I don't think it's dark and dreary either. It's real and I love you for being real. You deal with tons, and you should have outlets. You are always in my prayers and thoughts. I wish I had more of me and more time, I'd love to chat with you more, and would love to hear you pour out anything you feel you want to. You are one awesome, beautiful lady! Love you
I would tell whoever said this blog was dark and dreary to go elsewhere. like you have told me, there are other people out there possibly going through the same things that you are and it will comfort them to know that they are not alone. I do not know how you are managing to get out of bed everyday. it must be extremely difficult and i give you oodles of credit for it. thank you for so bravely putting all of yourself out there to us! sending love! <3
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